Before I get asked by anybody: No, the person who signed "Chuggy" to the "Web Rant" section at the bottom of page 5 of the latest issue of The Source is not me. I feel the need to preemptively clarify this because my own wife asked if that was me. So there you have it. Ain’t me. I’d sign either "Jon" or "Chuggnutt," never "Chuggy."

Boating in the northwest with Rangerrob
Pacific Northwest, Canada boating New quota system for Babcock/Webb quail hunters [11/8/07] Signed Costume Jewelry Vol. 2 Signed Costume jewelry Vol. 2 - Antique Collectible jewelry Video Ser Signed Costume […]

Let’s string clotheslines all over bend
Jake points to an utterly jaw-dropping article in the Wall Street Journal about a woman who is running into trouble up on Awbrey Butte by… get this… daring to hang her laundry on a clothesline. No kidding. This is stupid beyond words. Check it: The regulations of the subdivision in which Ms. Taylor lives effectively prohibit outdoor clotheslines. In a move that has torn apart this otherwise tranquil community, the development’s managers have threatened legal action. To the developer and many residents, clotheslines evoke the urban blight they sought to avoid by settling in the oregon mountains. "This bombards the senses," interior designer Joan Grundeman says of her neighbor’s clothesline. "It can’t possibly increase property values and make people think this is a nice neighborhood." Let’s break down a couple of those things, shall we? It states, "clotheslines evoke the urban blight they sought to avoid by settling in the oregon mountains"—ummm, if you’re settling in the "oregon mountains," you’d better believe clotheslines are a way of life. You know, the kind of life you moved here to experience? If that’s a problem, then leave. And "urban blight" and "bombards the senses"? Seriously? It’s a clothesline. If anything, I would think it would not only make the neighborhood nicer, but it would increase property values. That’s how the world works for those of us with common sense, anyway. So Brooks Resources is threatening legal action. And while she may be, technically, in violation of the CC&Rs for the neighborhood, Ms. Taylor responded by pointing out that the subdivision is "blatantly full of noncompliant owners" who display everything from plastic play equipment to exterior paint colors that don’t meet the requirement of "medium to dark tones." She added: "Who am I hurting by hanging clothes out to dry?" So yeah, I’m just blown away by this level of stupidity. Hanging a clothesline is the "green" and environmentally-responsible thing to do—and isn’t being green the new trend, especially among the "elite" and all these new, trendy homes and developments that are going up? How does caring about the environment constitute "blight"? I guess being environmentally responsible isn’t a priority for Brooks Resources or the other fools complaining over a backyard clothesline; if I was really snarky I’d write a headline saying Brooks Resources hates the environment. Man, some days I agree with Jake’s comment that bend really seems to be turning into a craphole.

"Sally Heatherton"
Jake beat me to the punch on blogging this, but I couldn’t resist anyway. I got this comment on my clothesline post the other day: The rules are the rules. Anyone who doesn’t want to live by the rules can go live in the ugly lowlands. It was signed "Sally Heatherton" and points to the blog "Marvelous bend!". Intrigued (I mean, would someone really say such a thing?), I checked out the blog and was utterly incredulous for a minute, and then realized that it’s a fake. Satire. And it’s brilliant! It’s freakin’ brilliant! Well, maybe not that brilliant, but it’s damn funny. (And sad to say, plausible enough—I actually know someone very much like this.) Like Jake, I went through searching the web and DIAL and Dex and found nothing. Almost nothing, that is. It’s not an identity or anything like that, but (up until today) the only result I could get for "Sally Heatherton" on Google (quotes included) was a hit on a character in a book: The Barrow Murder by James Huston. Via Google’s Book Search (that’s good stuff): I went to the window of a teller I knew at the bank, Sally Heatherton. We had even dated for a short time, until she called our relationship off. "I don’t want to get involved with someone who’s broke all the time," she announced. "A loser. I want to get married to someone who’s a success, who can support me, so I can get the hell out of this teller cage." I guess the new game around here is "Guess Who Sally Heatherton Really Is."

It’s the gift economy
Sometime in the distant past when I put the link to my Amazon wishlist here on the site, I wondered if it would actually inspire people to buy me stuff from it or if it was just a vanity move (I use that wishlist as much as a bookmark system as an actual list of things I’d like to buy someday). I figure it was mostly a vanity thing; I truly did not expect anyone to buy me anything from it. So imagine my surprise when a package from Amazon came to the door, with the book Halting State (newly added to my wishlist) inside. At first it was real head-scratcher; I didn’t remember at first that I had published the wishlist link and then I was confused because it listed me at an older mailing address (one of something like the 6(!) addresses that Amazon had on file that had slipped through the cracks) but had made it here anyhow. (I know, I’m supposed to be out on the leading edge of this internet thing, right?) Once I realized what had happened, I was astounded; a PHP developer named Dave Ross had found my PHP stemmer script and it had saved him a lot of work (his words) and in gratitude, he bought the book for me. I guess I was astounded because I put those PHP scripts online for free, and I enjoy helping people out who have questions about them and incorporating improvements that they send to me; it’s an open source thing, I suppose, and I’m just glad I can put something out there that’s useful to people, but the thought of compensation didn’t occur to me in this case. Okay, enough being naive, get to the point. Thank you, Dave, for the extremely generous gift. I’m glad I was (indirectly) able to help you out. And I hope I can repay the favor sometime in the future. It’s the gift economy. Sometimes it rears up and slaps you in the face. In a good way.

This entry was posted on Monday, November 26th, 2007 at 8:03 am and is filed under Central Oregon. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.